Success, That ELUSIVE Parent Dream

What does it mean to be a successful parent?

I used to think that being a successful parent meant happy kids (all of the time), hot dinner on the table every night, laundry washed and put away, homework done on time, dishes done before I go to bed, and work and home was balanced perfectly.  I was delusional.  This doesn’t happen, at least not to me.  If you have this figured out, please email me and tell me how to do this.

I was driving myself crazy trying to be the perfect mother.  I got to the point where, if the stars did not align, I began to feel as though I was failing.  Failing as a mother; the single most important thing that I am supposed to and want to do well. I have eight little people that are counting on me to get it right.

I was speaking to a group of entrepreneurs about my experiences and challenges of starting a business, and I said something that I just realized at that very moment: Success is defined in different ways, depending on your perspective.  I started looking for the small successes at home the same way I did at work.

Just last week, my son, Lucas, said to me, “Hey mom, I’m really glad that when I was born, we weren’t too rich and weren’t too poor. We were just right.”  The successful part of this story is that when Lucas was born, we lived in a house that I felt was not “just right” for my family.  I felt like every day there was a mountain to climb. My children, however, felt like things were “just right”.  Wow. Perspective AND success.  I simply couldn’t see it then.

It took me a little while to figure out where to look for moments to pat myself on the back. Here are some examples:

There is still milk in the fridge for breakfast this morning; success. 

I packed school lunches before I went to bed last night and saved myself 10 minutes this morning AND  everyone is happy with what they were given; success. 

Nobody cried at bedtime; success. 

I put on a cheery face even though I was crabby as hell; success.

I kept my cool when four kids were screaming and crying; success.

Holy crap, I suddenly found myself doing a lot of things right!  All I had to do was look! Now when I am having a bad day and I don’t keep my cool or there is no milk in the fridge, I know it’s okay.  I know I can reset and there is another small success right around the corner if I just look for it.  I changed my perspective and it changed the way I valued myself as a mom, a good and successful mom.

Sincerely, 

Nikki Lamb

SERIOUSLY, DO I Have Alzheimer's Disease OR Am I Just Busy?!

Do I have Alzheimer’s disease or am I just busy?

I filled out documents the other day which required my social security number.  I have had my social security number memorized since I was 15. I entered the incorrect numbers.

I had to enter my pin number at the store to use my debit card.  I forgot the number. The same pin that I have used for 20 years!

I got lost on the interstate a mile from my own house.

What the???

I shared my concerns with my family that I was worried about my slipping memory.  More than worried, I am scared. My grandmother had dementia and it was awful.  In its later stages, it was insidious and relentless with fleeting moments of recognition and awareness.  I do not want this for my family.  I am too young.  I was so mortified that I had inherited my grandmother’s genes and perhaps experiencing early onset.   Then I realized I have 8 kids and work 6+ days a week and there is no way one person can do what I do and keep it all straight all of the time.  So what; I forgot my social security number.  I got MOST of the numbers right.  Just yesterday I had to give my credit card, delta sky miles and IHG membership numbers to the customer service representatives when I was traveling.  Guess what?  I knew them all.  I am fine.   Maybe I DID inherit my grandmother’s genes, but there is no way that is a bad thing.  She was one of the best people I have ever known.

The other good news is that now that I have researched, I know one of the things that contribute to bad memory includes bad diet!  I can change my lifestyle to reduce the risk of poor physical and mental health.  It’s a start. 

Check out the following website for foods that induce memory lose: http://www.alzheimers.net/2014-01-02/foods-that-induce-memory-loss/

Now, the best part of coming to the realization that my brain is full is I realized I cannot do everything I am doing by myself. Not at work and not at home.  I need help. Yes. I need help!  A lot of it!  I can’t keep up with laundry, dishes, vacuuming and all of the other stuff.  I am not saying I will get the help all the time, but will be more likely to ask.    In the future, I will not freak out when I can’t remember where I put my keys or why I walked into the kitchen. I will remember that I have a lot of things on my mind which makes me a normal mom and business person.

Sincerely,

Nikki Lamb